Hat's Off to the Rapper
by Child at Heart Forever
Summary: Ness wants to know the secret behind his beloved hat. Looking it up one day, he discovers he's related to a rapper! Lucas knows this can't be true. Can he stop Ness from getting into an awful situation, even if Kirby is helping Ness along? OLDFIC


**I'm tired. I'm bored. This was born. Deal with it. Read it. Review it.** Hat's off to the Rapper

* * *

_"Oh, just GIVE it to him already!" Ness' mom cried._

_"Okay…Ness! Come here a moment…" Ness' dad called._

_Little Ness trotted into the living room in pajamas on Christmas morning. His dad handed him a very special looking gift with a red and blue bow. Ness shrieked at the sight of the gift and immediately tore into it. Inside was the best darn hat money could buy. Although, it seemed a little used, but yet still very nice._

_"Now we can cover that messy mop of hair you have!" Ness' dad chuckled as he picked up his son. He twisted the hat around so the brim was on one side of his head._

_"It's perfect, Daddy!" cried Ness as he ran over to open more gifts. The boy's parents just watched, wondering what he would become._

_Ness never took the hat off, unless for taking a shower or going to bed (duh.) He even had a special bed for it he loved it so much! Ness never really thought about if the hat had some kind of hidden past, like a secret hidden beneath the stitches._

* * *

Ness started at his red baseball cap with the blue rim. It was one of his most prized-possessions. His never really knew why his dad had given him the hat in the first place, so he was going to find out. Everyday, he would hunt down any little info he could about the history of the cap. Lucas was freaking out over how Ness was becoming so obsessed with his hat.

"Ness…I don't think that's healthy…" Lucas stated one day.

"I don't care! I keep having dreams about the time I got my hat, and I'm going to find out what!" Ness replied, typing in anything useful on the internet.

"Oh jeez…people probably already know…"

"What people?"

"The one's watching us…knowing our every move by reading the words I speak right now!"

Suddenly, the wall you can't "see" broke, and Link strolled by realizing what had happened.

"YEAH! I'm not the only one that's broken the fourth wall today!" he cheered.

Master Hand then floated by and prepared an out burst. Link winked at Lucas and turned to the hovering hand.

"Who broke the fourth wall!" Master Hand boomed.

'LUCAS!" Link shouted while sneaking off.

"What the-"

"Banned from brawling for a week wall breaker! Those things aren't cheap!"

Master Hand grumbled angrily as Lucas just had a exasperated blank stare. When he could talk again, he turned to Ness.

"Can you believe that!?" Lucas cried.

"I totes agree, homie G!"

"HUH?"

Ness grinned as he looked up from the computer. Lucas stared at Ness weirdly as he pointed to the section on the screen. It told about a rapper named Awesomi-Ness who wore a red baseball hat with a blue rim. The hat was handed down through generations all the way to currently what would be his grandson.

"Do you know what this means!" Ness squealed a question.

"Oh God no…"

"I'M RELATED TO A RAPPER!"

"No, no, no, no!"

"Yes! I was named after the last part of his nickname, the hat was handed down to my dad, and my dad decided to hand it down to me!"

Lucas had to lean against a wall to keep from fainting. His best friend was trying to break dance on the floor while singing lyrics that he couldn't understand. Lucas highly doubted that Ness was related to this rapper, so he went on an investigation of his own.

~~!*_*!~~

"Okay Kirby! How about, No one, get in my way, or face the wrath of my…?" Ness asked while chewing on a pencil.

"Um, maybe…Payday!" Kirby chirped.

"Face the wrath of my Payday? Yeah, people are going to fear a chocolaty peanut goodness!"

"Heh…peanut goodness…"

"Shut up Kirby!"

While Ness and Kirby were trying to finish the song, Lucas walked over with a little more info.

"Hey guys! I just found out something interesting! It turns out, Awesomi-Ness had a job cleaning toilets but was caught by an agent rapping about his unhappiness! How about that Ness?"

"Uh…well, he's a cool cleaner, an agent found him in a restroom, and his firs tsong was about sadness…AWESOME!"

"Oh, you're hopeless! I'll get SOME PROOF!" Lucas cried, while walking into the horizon of the building. "YOU'LL SEE!"

Ness shook his head while Kirby was shouting all kinds of words that rhymed with way.

"Should we get a rhyming dictionary?" he asked.

"Kirby, we're not four! We have minds!" Ness replied.

"…I lost mine though…" Kirby said quietly.

"Trust me, I've noticed."

"No one, get in my way, or face the wrath of my PK! Talk smack to me, I'll do it too! I'll take it and throw it back at you!" Kirby sung annoyed.

"That's…genius! How come you didn't come out and say that in the first place?" Ness asked.

"Trying to build the suspense for your audience watching right now!" Kirby stated, accidentally breaking the fourth wall. Master Hand heard it crumble and went on a rampage.

"Good God people! MONEY! It take MONEY to fix your broken walls! Watch what you say! Kirby! Fifth time this week! You get no food for that long!" Master Hand grumbled while someone started to patch up the screen.

"NO FOOD! Ugh…holy! No need to go psycho!" Kirby whined.

"It is wall breaking season…anyway, since you thought of that, I'll give you a million bucks when my song becomes a hit!" Ness admitted.

"A thousand!" Kirby cried.

"Hundred?"

"Oh…20!"

"A dollar?"

"Quarter."

"Penny."

"Whoa. Tough to beat! Okay, a penny it is!"

"Stupid Kirby…" Link muttered from near-by. Kirby heard and went after him with his Final Cutter. They engaged in a sword duel with Link winning by a long shot. Ness groaned while taking his completed song back to his room. Lucas had found more "Proof" of how Ness wasn't related to Awesomi-Ness.

"THIS one should be perfect…all right, Awesomi-Ness never lived in Onett! He was actually born in a town called Dell, which is in the middle of nowhere…" Lucas scoffed, holding up a map.

"So? My dad could have simply moved to Onett!" Ness shot back. Lucas gave a defeated looked and watched Ness try to do some break dancing. His leg got twisted with his opposite arm, his foot behind his neck, his other arm wiggling about, and the other leg bent into a strange shape.

"Go play some DDR!" Lucas screamed while leaving to use the restroom. Ness frowned as he thought it over.

When Lucas returned to his room, he could hear some music, cheering, and something being sung. He swung open the door to see Ness dancing rapper-ish perfectly with the arrows, and half of the mansion cheer him on as he sang his song. Lucas could have passed out at the sight. Ness finished off with the on-one-side-with-head-on-a-hand-and-leg-crossed-over-the-other- pose and asked, " 'sup Lucas?"

"You are seriously taking this a little too far…" Lucas sighed.

"Ahem? In 2 days I have a gig at New Pork City, and in that time I'm going to get a nickname, and a costume AND I'm going to live up to my grandfather's name!" Ness shouted over the roar of fans. Lucas growled and stormed off.

* * *

2 days later, a huge crowd was at Ness' concert to see the upcoming artist perform. Lucas had the perfect proof that Ness didn't have Awesomi-Ness's hat. But the guard wouldn't let him inside.

"Let me in! That's my best friend inside!" Lucas whined. "I need to tell him something really important!"

"Too bad. Gotz a ticket?" the guard asked.

"Uh…no…" Lucas mumbled.

The guard picked up Lucas and tossed him into a trash can. Then Bowser headed to the entrance and Lucas got an idea.

"Hello good sir! My ticket is right…here?" Bowser said until he felt a weird sensation. He dug around in his shell and pulled out Lucas.

"Aw man!" Lucas cried.

Ness sat in the dressing room being pampered by a hot woman. There was a knock on the door and Ness told her to go open it. It was Toon Link with thousands of flowers and chocolate. Ness' eyes got bigger as a truck pulled up and dumped even more into his room.

"More gifts for Necessity!" the driver called out. "By the way, very original name!"

"Shut up! Kirby thought of it!" Ness defended.

"You really should do something about him…"

"I know…or the author should…"

Yet ANOTHER fourth wall broke down and Link and Master Hand appeared out of thin air.

"Ha! I don't own THAT wall!" Master Hand cackled.

"Yeah, not HIS problem!" Link talked back.

Ness sighed and prepared to leave. The woman pulled out a pink frilly dress with a matching hat and shoes and Ness screamed.

"That's not my outfit! Do I look like the kind of fool to wear that?" Ness asked.

The woman shook her head as she pulled out a silky red and blue outfit trimmed with (of all things) sequins! Ness gawked at the sight as the woman explained it matched the hat.

"Oh…whatever. It's better than waltzing around wearing gold ten pound necklaces or ballerina get-up!"

Ness slipped into the suit as someone came in to tell him to get on stage. Ness nodded, slapped on his hat, and prepared for his debut.

* * *

"Not even for twenty bucks?" Lucas asked, his last attempt to get inside.

"Listen kid, since you're so determined, I'll give you a test. If you pass it, I'll let you in!" the guard grumbled.

"Bring it!"

"Say, The Password!"

"But- I don't know the password!"

"All you got to do iz say "The Password'!"

Lucas fell over as the guard smacked his head.

"Iz Simple! Hey! Link, c'mere!" Guard shouted to Link spying.

"Yeah?"

"Say The Password! Lucas here iz dumber than potatoes!"

Link smirked at Lucas and casually said The Password, literally. The guard let him in, and Link left with one last smug grin at Lucas. Lucas squeaked "The Password" and the guard finally let him in. He just started in disbelief at how stupid he was.

* * *

Ness was backstage, and freaking out over how nervous he was. He was to go on in two minutes. This was the moment he was going to live up to his grandfather's name! He was going to make it happen! He was going to pass out! Ness was sweating to death, and all the lights everywhere didn't help at all.

"All right Necessity! You're on. Seriously, that's a dumb name!" the stage manager groaned.

"Kirby!" Ness replied, sorry he had taken his friend's advice as he burst through the curtains in a song and dance.

Lucas weaved his way through the crowd of people screaming for Ness. He was slapped in the face numerous times, stepped on, even bit once! He eventually retreated to just diving into the crowd from a table, but no one caught him…

"Oh Crud! Ness is already performing!" Lucas cried, standing up in pain. He limped toward the front and started jumping up and down to get Ness' attention. His beat friend was singing about rapping and what-not.

"Don't like my rappin'? In for a slappin'!" Lucas groaned at the lyrics. Not his song though! Lucas cried out even louder than the audience itself and caused a silence besides Ness singing. Lucas flashed red as he explained to a still rapping Ness that Awesomi-Ness had a special seal on his hat, and if Ness really had the same hat, the seal would be there. Ness manage to mend his dancing with taking his hat off and checking it, only to see that there was no seal.

"Are you serious?!" Ness screamed in his head.

He angrily finished his song as Lucas gave a sad, I-told-you-so face.

"No one, get in my way, or face the wrath of my PK! Talk smack to me, I'll do it too! I'll take it and throw it back at you!" Ness sang. He ended the song with the splits, which made the crowd go wild again. Kirby jumped on stage and said he helped write the song and was taken away by a cane. Lucas retreated to backstage before he was trampled again.

Ness pouted in his chair, his hat dangling on a hook.

"Hey Ness?" Lucas asked quietly.

"What."

"I'm sorry abut you not being a rapper…and embarrassing you…and maybe more…" mumbled Lucas. Ness sighed and turned to his friend.

"It's not your fault. You were trying to prevent me from doing something really stupid!" Ness assured.

"The thing is, you rap awesome!"

"Of course I do…"

They stared at each other and suddenly a strange feeling washed over Lucas.

"Ness? Do you feel like were at the end of some super cheesy story being posted on the internet?" he asked.

The fourth wall broke for the last time and the boys high tailed it. Link tumbled in with his sword brandished, ready to whack Lucas. Master Hand followed suit, and got mad when no one was there.

"I will stop this from happening EVENTUALLY!" the floating hand promised, shaking himself (in a fist). Link punched a wall before they left. When Ness and Lucas returned when the coast was clear, the red capped one finally replied: "Yes. I do feel like that just happened."

* * *

One week later, Ness was on the computer once again. Lucas had finished brawling Lucario, and could have died when he saw Ness.

"What are you doing?" Lucas wondered cautiously.

"Since I'm not a rapper, I decided to find out what I really am. Turns out, my hat belonged to my great great grandmother! She was the sister of the guy who invented poker!" Ness cried.

"Well don't expect me to play with you!" yelled Lucas who was running away. Ness shrugged, blew a whistle, and he, Kirby, Link, Pit, Sonic, and Marth sat at a table with cards and chips.

"Usual wager friends?" Kirby murmured.

"Of course! I'm going to win, considering my Great-Great Grandma…" Ness boasted.

"Put your hat on and shut up! It's my turn!" sonic hissed.

Ness snickered. He was just jealous of the life family had given to him…


End file.
